Preached at Reedwood Friends, Jan. 6, 2013
Genesis 3, 4, 27, 32, 33
When Ken invited me to preach during Peace Month, he laid
before me all the options—World Peace, the end of racism or
sexism or prejudice of any kind, or
reconciliation between persons. I
actually believe all peace begins in the individual heart, that a heart at
peace cannot hate or disparage or belittle or slander or badmouth another
person, group of people, or nation. So I
chose the topic I think is most important, and also the one I am always working
on.
As a child, like many or most children,
I felt unjustly treated, shamed, bullied, and lied to. As a result, I conceived a huge passion for
justice. My favorite Bible story was the
sudden justice delivered to Ananias and Sapphira when they lied to the Holy
Spirit and Peter and dropped dead. But
as I grew up and recognized some of my own unjust, shaming, bullying, and
deceptive actions, I became more of a fan of mercy. As GKChesterton wrote, “For children are
innocent and love justice; while most of us are wicked and naturally prefer
mercy” (On Household Gods and Goblins, 1922).
As the wise writer Jeremiah wrote, “The
human heart—i.e. “the seat of
internal processes, including both feeling and thinking, as well as dreading,
ruminating, aspiring, and so forth” (Dr. Joel Hoffman, “Five Bible Images You
Probably Misunderstand,” Huffpo)—what we might more accurately call the self—is
is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked” (Jeremiah 17:9). Or as Bob Dylan wrote, “Heart of mine, so
malicious and so full of guile, Give you an inch and you’ll take a mile.” Or as
Jesus pointed out, “Out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders,
adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies; these are the
things which defile us, but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile us”
(Matthew 15:19-20).
There are
two responses that will make the rest of this sermon hypothetical rather than
useful. One is resisting this
point. My self isn’t desperately wicked,
my self isn’t malicious and full of guile, my self is not the seat of all those
awful sins. I have some good qualities! But this is a serious problem in the
way of a peaceful heart. If we have never noticed that a large part of our
internal processes are self-justifying, we will not ever ask ourselves why we
need to justify ourselves, and we will not ever see that we might at some time
have done something despicable and harmful to another person. St. Paul writes
to Timothy about those who speak lies in hypocrisy, having their consciences
seared with a hot iron (2 Tim 1:3). We
can for a long time avoid an accurate self-understanding that includes our
potential for evil.
Another
unhelpful response is yes, I am a terrible person and there is no hope for
me. St. Paul writes to Titus about those
whose conscience is defiled, which means it is unhelpful in sorting things out,
and that lovable apostle St. John writes, “Little children, let us love, not in
word or speech, but in truth and action. And by this we will know that we are
from the truth and will reassure our hearts before him whenever our hearts condemn
us; for God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.” Sometimes our consciences are poorly trained
and either let us off the hook too often or keep us on the hook too often. Neither is helpful. We need to submit our consciences to the
guidance of Jesus, who promises to lead us into all truth, and who can retrain
our consciences.
So the first step to a peaceful heart
is an accurate self-understanding, which includes submitting our consciences to
examination by Jesus and living into the repentance and discipline Jesus
prescribes. Let me encourage you to let
down your guard and invite Jesus to examine your selves, your consciences, your
hearts. Then please be obedient to what
he prescribes for you to do.
A second step toward peace is laying down
our swords. A vivid bad example of a
heart not at peace is provided by the interpersonal conflict between Cain and
Abel. Here is the whole story from
Genesis 4: Now Abel was a keeper of sheep, and Cain a tiller of the
ground. Cain brought to the Lord an
offering of the fruit of the ground, and bel for his part brought of the
firstlings of his flock, their fat portions.
And the Lord had regard for Abel and his offering, but for Cain and his
offering he had no regard. So Cain was
very angry, and his countenance fell.
The Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your countenance
fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well,
sin is lurking at the door; its desire is for you, but you must master it.”
Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let us
go out to the field.” And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against his
brother Abel, and killed him. Then the
Lord said to Cain, “Where is your brother Abel?” He said, “I do not know; am I
my brother’s keeper?” And the Lord said, “What have you done? Listen; your
brother’s blood is crying out to me from the ground! And now you are cursed
from the ground, which has opened its mouth to receive your brother’s blood
from your hand. When you till the
ground, it will no longer yield to you its strength; you will be a fugitive and
a wanderer on the earth.”
Cain said to the Lord, “My punishment
is greater than I can bear! Today you have driven me away from the soil, and I
shall be hidden from your face; I shall be a fugitive and a wanderer on the
earth, and anyone who meets me may kill me.” Then the Lord said to him, “Not
so! Whoever kills Cain will suffer a sevenfold vengeance.” And the Lord put a
mark on Cain so that no one who came upon him would kill him. Then Cain went away
from the presence of the Lord, and settled in the land of Nod, east of Eden.
This conflict seems to have existed
without Abel knowing about it. Both
brothers offered the fruits of their work to God, and God accepted only Abel’s.
God tells Cain, “If you do well, will you not be accepted?” And, as the saying
goes, the proof was in the pudding. The
reason why God accepted only Abel’s offering is made clear when Cain throws a
fit. Instead of looking inside himself
to see what might have made his offering unacceptable, Cain solves the problem
more primitively and eliminates the competition.
A question for us to consider is
this: Is there someone in my life who
stands between me and my goals or hopes? Does the person who stands between me and what I want actually represent something inside me? A fear, a shame, an unwillingness to risk?
I recently had to confess to a close friend that I had blamed him for years for an action he took that I believed stood between me and my goals. I had to admit that what really got in my way was my own ambivalence and fear. It was much easier to blame someone else.
As a woman in a patriarchal culture, I
have wanted to blame men in general and specific men in particular for the fact
I have not achieved my dreams. I was
brought up short in this pattern by a young woman who said, “My real barriers
are inside me.”
Another step toward peace is laying down our shields. Another
vivid bad example of hearts not at peace comes from Genesis 3. Just after Adam and Eve ate from the tree of
the knowledge of good and evil, God comes to visit them as usual. They are hiding in the trees and have become
afraid because they are naked, as Adam says.
When God asks Adam, “Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded
you not to eat,” Adam answers: “The woman whom you gave me to be with me, she
gave me fruit from the tree, and I ate.”
Adam manages in this statement to admit what he did but blame both Eve
and God for his disobedience. When God
asks Eve, “What is this that you have done?”, she replies, “The serpent tricked
me, and I ate.” She also admits what she did, but she passes the blame on to
the serpent. The serpent is
speechless.
More questions: Is there someone in my life I blame for the
fact I have made mistakes or strayed from the right path? Does the blame I
place on another person allow me to avoid confronting my own contribution to
the conflict? Does blaming someone else help me to avoid shame?
It is possible to work for years to come to terms with
admitting what I contributed to an estrangement—what I did wrong, in other
words. I can pray for justice, work to
forgive, apologize for what I can see I did wrong, and still feel that the
other person blames me for everything, and this is not fair or just. I have to
admit that I am still more interested in being heard than in listening, that I want
to explain why it isn’t my fault, or at least isn’t all my fault, and I want
the other person to admit his or her errors of judgment and behavior also. Can I move into actual reconciliation? Not with my shields up.
I knew a married couple who fought bitterly over their
understanding of the grace of God. The first accused the second of believing
she was saved by good works and the second accused the first of believing that
once he was saved, he could behave any old way.
Underneath this theological argument were two people disappointed in
each other and disappointed in their marriage who were fighting each other to
avoid admitting any disappointment with themselves. Failing to be a good spouse
was too shameful to be looked at squarely. After years, their hearts softened
and with the help of a counselor, they could lay down their swords and shields,
accept grace from God and each other, and extend grace to each other. Their essential characters are not changed,
but their demeanor toward each other is so vastly different it is like a
miracle.
More questions: Is there someone in my life who has failed
to measure up to what he or she should be or believe or do? Is it possible that
my disappointment with this person masks some sort of disappointment with
myself?
And now, a good example of brothers laying down their swords
and shields that starts off, of course, bad.
Genesis 27, 32 and 33 tell the story of twin brothers, Esau
and Jacob. They were nothing alike, and
seemed to be struggling for top dog status even in the womb. Esau is famous for trading his rights as
first born to Jacob for a bowl of soup, and Jacob is famous for cheating Esau
out of his blessing as first born by deceiving their blind father Isaac. Add into all this the fact that the dad
favored Esau and the mom favored Jacob. And that Esau was a man’s man while
Jacob could hardly grow a beard. Trouble everywhere.
Esau’s original response to Jacob was this, “Soon my father
will die and then I will kill my brother Jacob.” Esau felt like Cain, that if
he could simply remove the competition, he would regain all he had lost of
God’s blessing and his first-born rights.
He blamed Jacob for all he had lost, even though to an outside observer,
he seemed pretty careless with his birthright and maybe should have partly
blamed himself.
Their mother heard of Esau’s threat, called Jacob in and
warned him. “Your brother Esau is
consoling himself by planning to kill you.
Flee to your uncle’s and stay awhile until your brother’s fury lessens,
until his anger turns away and he forgets what you have done to him.” So Jacob took off. Jacob’s essential trickster character
remained constant through his time with his uncle, and he became rich at his
uncle’s expense. God told him to go
home, and he and his wives and children and servants and animals took all his
property and started for home.
As he neared home, he began sending messengers to Esau,
announcing his arrival and reporting back to him how Esau took the news. They told him, “Esau is coming to meet you
with four hundred men.” Jacob was
scared. It sounded to him like a fighting force. He split up his wealth so that at worst he
would lose only half. He sent presents
ahead to Esau of herd after herd of livestock with space in between. He prayed for God to protect him from his
brother, and in that prayer he said to God, “I am not worthy of the least of
all the steadfast love and all the faithfulness that you have shown to your
servant.” This prayer reveals that at
long last, Jacob is telling the truth about himself to God, a truth that he may
have been avoiding his whole life by clawing his way to wealth and position
through hard dealing and deceitfulness.
That night, Jacob wrestled bodily with God. Symbolically, this is the same wrestling
match that he had been engaged in his whole life. When the Spirit he was wrestling puts his hip
out of joint, laming him for life, this was the same limp he had been covering for
his whole life. God blessed him with a
change in name, symbolizing a new view of himself, a change from “Cheater” or
“Supplanter” to “One who strives with God” –a change from “low-life” to “full
human being.”
In the morning, Jacob saw Esau approaching. He knew he had done Esau wrong, and he
approached him as a supplicant, bowing seven times. And here is the surprise. Esau ran to meet him, and embraced him, and
fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept.
Who knows what process Esau went through to move from
wanting to kill Jacob to welcoming him home like the father welcomes home the
prodigal son in the parable told by Jesus.
It is clear that Esau no longer feels himself held down by Jacob’s
tricksy manipulations. The yoke of anger
and hatred has been broken off his neck.
He is forgiving, even to the point of allowing Jacob to try to make
things right by giving him gifts. As my
daughter Liz pointed out to me, Esau is the first example of an outright
forgiveness in the Bible.
More questions: Is
there someone in my life who makes me feel inferior? Is my conflict with that person standing in
for admitting my own sense of worthlessness, my shame at somehow not measuring
up? If I just admit the truth about myself to God, what does God say to me?
Here are the signs that my heart is not at peace: I am competing for attention, blaming others,
judging and criticizing others, and cheating to get ahead.
To have a heart at peace means that I no longer am acting in
my own defense. I have wrestled with God, admitted to God my worst stuff,
accepted that God values our relationship because God values me, not my innocence,
not my perfection, not my achievements, not my rightness, not my religious
devotion. God values you and me, knowing
full well how easily we make mistakes, how easily we slip into self-justifying
and blaming others, how easily we try to cover up for ourselves. God values us and loves it when we get honest
and open and accept God’s love without trying to earn it. God loves us because God is love. And there is enough love for all.
Pray for justice when you are in conflict with another
person. If you pray for justice, God
will be help you be just, which involves seeing both the other and yourself
more clearly. And then lean into the
help Jesus gives to repent and forgive.
